12/20

Today would be the last day of the world if we were Mayan.  That would be a good thing for the clothes I have worn for the last 30 days.  I have had a few casualties; holes in shirts, pants, hook and eye failure on my skirt, but nothing that prevented me from wearing them.  I must admit I am extremely grateful for all that I have and am looking forward to pulling out some warm sweaters so I don't have to be cold all the time.  I am also looking forward to wearing some different pants and shorts when I work out.  It has been so hot at the gym!

Anyway...tomorrow starts our month of giving away.  Giving away parts of ourselves as well as physical objects.  I have noticed that we have WAY TOO much stuff in this house that was not missed this last month.  I did begin a bit early and gave away 26 pairs of shoes to the Amherst Middle School shoe drive for Soles for Souls.  That was last week.  No household should have that many shoes to give away.  I also gave a winter coat to a little boy in the kindergarten classroom I volunteer in each week.  We are blessed with so much.

This month I am going to try and see what it means to live out Micah 6:8.

 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

What does it mean to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God?  What are your thoughts?

Waiting

Why is waiting so difficult?  Whether it is waiting for a baby, waiting for Christmas, waiting for vacation, waiting to wear more than 7 articles of clothing, waiting for news from a biopsy...waiting.  As believers we are called to wait patiently with our Lord.  Wait for His arrival.  Wait for His answer to our prayers.  Wait for Him to come back.  Again with the waiting.  It ought to be easier with Him in the picture.  It ought to ease some of our worry or anxiousness.  Many times satan gets the better of us and we become consumed/paralyzed. 
Please pray with me for my friend who has to have surgery today to remove a lump beneath her eye and then wait for news about whether or not the news is good or bad.  She is not a believer.  Nor is her family.
Thanks.

Earings

Let's talk earrings today...For the past couple of days my collection of earrings have been calling my name.  Now this is strange in many ways and I won't unpack all of them, but I will talk about one of them.  I usually only wear two or three pairs of my many pairs.  I never notice their color and tend to go for the silver ones.  These past few days their color, size and sparkliness have been pulling me in and luring me to wear them.  When I began the clothing section, I decided not to wear earrings except for one pair.  This pair now seems very drab, inappropriate, and just plain ugly.  I don't believe any of this is true.  I think it is the lure of change, the promise of different, that I am finding so attractive.  Isn't this what I do in my daily walk with Christ too?  What am I replacing with sparkly things, trying to fill a void that only Christ can fill?

shoes, shoes, shoes

Ok this is a little embarrassing.  I own 48 pairs of shoes.  Multiple pairs of boots, many sandals, clogs, running sneaker, a few dress shoes worn only once.  How many do I usually wear?  In any given week?  Probably three max.  I go for the easy slip on and off shoe most days.  I have my shoes that stay downstairs and the shoes that stay upstairs (ridiculous I know).  I have shoes only worn for weddings, Sundays, or running.  Lots of running sneakers.  Every 6 mos I get new running sneakers.  How did this happen?  How can one woman use/need this many shoes?  I even asked for a new pair for Christmas.  I know I have a problem.  I need to go through and sort and gift them away.  I need to stop pointing fingers at my husbands coat addiction (he may have more coats than underwear) and take care of my addiction first.  Isn't there that nifty little verse about taking care of the log in your own eye before helping your neighbor with his splinter?

This is just the tip of the iceberg folks.  I haven't counted my t-shirts yet.  One area at a time.  I think my brain might explode if I do too much at once.

Image is Everything (or is it?)

I have begun to realize that I am vain.  I too like to look nice on the outside (even if my world is crumbling on the inside).  I like to think that people notice my cute little sweater (emphasis on little and NOT VERY WARM) and jeans.  I never thought I really cared, but this exercise is showing me that I care WAY too much. 

Do other people notice what I am wearing and care more or less about me because of what I have on or don't wear?  I don't think so.  I have a feeling other people are wrapped up in their own baggage.  Even if they noticed what I am wearing, I would hope they wouldn't care less about be because of the clothes.  It is time for me to begin embracing the words I have been teaching all these years... That it is all about Christ in us that makes us who we are and not the masks we wear on the outside.  Clothing has become a mask for me.   

I have gone over my word limit.  I am going to embrace my inner Johnny Cash and tackle the day!

11/26

Six days into the clothing "fast".  Here are the articles I am wearing this month:
2 short sleeved t-shirts - one black, one white
1 long sleeved t-shirt white
1 pair jeans
1 pair pants grey
1 cardigan sweater black
1 long sleeved over shirt black
(I seem to have a fascination w/black)

work out clothes:
1 pair running pants black
1 grey t-shirt UB Football
1 long sleeved pink capilene shirt

church
1 black sweater
1 black skirt

Have you noticed a color theme?  My jeans have a hole in the knee after three days of straight wear.  Am I allowed to change them out?I am also thinking this month may be harder than the last.  Who knew that I cared so much about my clothes?  Tomorrow I will write in 50 words or less what my clothes say about me or what I THINK my clothes say about me and does anyone really care besides me?

11/20 LAST DAY!

Today is our last day of this sugar fast.  I have been spending time looking forward at the next chapter clothing, but need to put this chapter to bed before I rush off to the next.

In light of the fact that it is Thanksgiving in two days, I am going to focus on what I am thankful for and what this fast has made me more thankful for.
1. I am thankful I am not a cake baker at Wegmans or anywhere else.  That would have been HORRIBLE this past month.
2. I am thankful for my kids.  They were so good and so strong through the entire 30 days.
3. I am thankful for my small group.  The laughter shared, recipes, victories and pains have made this 30 days go by quicker than if I had been doing it alone.
4. I am thankful for my health and will try not to take it for granted again.
5. I am thankful for challenge and how it refines me and makes me a better person.
6. I am thankful for Jesus and the fact that I AM NOT ALONE EVER.
7. I am thankful for my support group and the little things they did this month to lift me up and cheer me on.
8. I am thankful for friends who let me smell their pumpkin lattes.
9. I am thankful I am a strong, intelligent human being.
10.  I am thankful for my husband who is always by my side, supporting me in all the wack-o things I come up with.

Gal 5:22
 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

11/11

Well, we must be doing something right.  About half the group is being or has been attacked in some physical way.  Satan must not like where we are going and what we are doing.  Just proves we need to amp up the prayer coverage and soldier on. 

More than half way done.  Many of us are looking forward to the next month long adventure.  Before we put the cart a head of the horse , I think we really need to continue to take one day at a time and grow in our dependence on God.  Our relationship with Him is not a fast food, quick fix.  It is a life-long relationship that is ever growing and ever changing and we need to grow and change along with it.

So much of my life is grab a quick meal, a quick snack, a quick fix.  I am beginning to realize that I was looking at my relationship with God in the same light.  Our God is not a fast food, quick fix kind of God.  He is a life-time Lord and Savior.  Funny how it has taken me this many years to figure that out!

1/2 way

We are halfway through.  I am hoping and praying that the physical attacks don't continue for the next 6 months.  Bad head cold, crippling headache, Shingles!, nausea,  I don't think I can take much more.  Today has been the worst with the cravings.  I know that complaining is not a Fruit of the Spirit, but I am having a tough time today.  I WANT CAKE!  So much for being spiritual.  Today definitely sucked.

Nov 3

So I have been sick the last couple of days.  So much so I have had to accept help from my friends and neighbors because I haven't been able to do some things.  This is very hard for me to do.  Accept help that is.  I can give help.  That is what I do.  But I don't accept help.  I never need it.  Right?

What does this have to do with giving up sugar?  Not much really.  Except the whole accepting help thing.  Letting people in far enough and letting them help you.  Realizing I am not strong enough to do it all on my own.  I thin this is where I fail miserably with God.  I am ok as long as life is sailing alone rather smoothly.  Minor bumps I can hand over, but as soon as things get rough, I want to take complete control and try and fix it myself.  Why is that?  What am I afraid of?

I think if I would spend more time letting go and letting God keep the control, I might actually be more free.  Letting the folks in to help me the last few days did nothing to compromise who I was.  In fact it helped me and allowed me to feel connected and cared for.  Just imagine what it would be like if I or we did that and let God in a little bit more every day.  

Halloween

Halloween.  If there was a day that was going to be rough, this would be it right?  So far so good.  BOTH kids gave up the candy they got at school.  GAVE IT UP!  Voluntarily!  I am ruining them for a normal existence.  They, or mainly E, have been so amazing with this walk.  They are an encouragement as well as a distraction.  D keeps asking for more raisins.  It is too bad these kids don't have normal parents or a fighting chance at a normal life!

Definitely has been a process of God peeling back the layers.  Kind of like Eustace and the Lion in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  The first few layers have felt ok.  It will be interesting or get interesting when those layers get closer to the heart.  Closer to the real me.  An interesting point was made to me today, it is then that I will truly need the Lion (God) to do the peeling back because there is no way I will want to or be able to.

With all this candy in the house, wonder what tomorrow will look like?

Day 2

A successful day of no sugar.  I find that my carb craving has increased a bit.  Had a great workout at the gym and made homemade applesauce.  I am a bit worried that I might become warm and fuzzy if I let my guard down, but I do believe that is part of this whole journey - not becoming warm and fuzzy but letting my guard down.

28 days to go...

Day 1

Almost done!  Woke at 4 am with a headache.  Ran at 6.  Drank coffee, went grocery shopping where I was TAUNTED by all the sugar products.  This is pretty funny because normally I take no notice in them.  Today they sang their siren song.  What the heck is up with that? 

Wish I could say I meditated on scripture.  I didn't.  I thought about it...  I am going to try and memorize Joel 2: 12, 13

"Even now, declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart with fasting and weeping and mourning."...For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love..."

I think this could be a good verse for me. 

I am ready for bed.  29 days to go. 

Ok so here we are.  At the starting gate.  I have 9 people ready to lynch me.  No one is really gung ho about giving up refined sugar for 30 days.  But on the bright side, they are gung ho to see how God works through all this craziness.  Tomorrow it all begins...